My Shadow

The three of us stand in the cafe parking lot-
My shadow, him, and me.
He hugs me goodbye and says we'll hang out again next time I'm around,
And I force a smile and pray that my chubby cheeks aren't flaring red.

She's tall and thin, with sharp, defined features.
She silently glides behind me in the setting sun
And watches over my shoulder as he walks to his car.
He drives away, and she hisses into my ear:

"God, you coward. Look at what you could've had!
If I had skin, bones, and muscles I'd smack you upside the head.
You were lucky a man like that gave you the time of day
And you didn't do fucking thing. You didn't make a single move.

Now he's with that bitch. Oh, don't defend her.
You know she probably is. Not that it matters.
I'm sure she's absolutely beautiful- a goddess-
So I suppose you wouldn't have stood a chance anyway.

Don't give me that 'it's what's on the inside that counts' shit.
Do you think what's-her-name won first prize by being nice?
Hell, no. It was ten feet of legs and virtually no stomach.
I don't think, ah, 'curvy' girls like you even belong in the running.

Even if personality did matter, do you really think he would have chosen you?
Jesus, I'm two dimensional and I'm still more substantial than you are!
You hide. You're silent. You belong in the darkness more than I do."
I'm relieved when the light disappears and she slinks into the crowd of new arrivals.

I can still feel her impatient, disgusted gaze, though,
Reminding me of what I should but never will be.
Her dark grey friends surround me, close in,
Trapping me with my unfortunate truth.

Another Stupid Love Poem

I tug at my clothes.
I look at the ground.
My heart's beating faster.
I can't make a sound.
Your voice gives me shivers
But my face feels so hot.
One single word
Ties my stomach in knots.
I'm not worth a glance
But you smile just the same.
You make me feel special
Just saying my name.
The kindness is empty
The smile's a disguise.
There's no real affection
When you look in my eyes.
So why can't I stop caring?
Why am I wasting my time
Pouring my soul into a forced rhyme?
Every time I see you
You send my head spinning
But I'm fighting a battle
I have no chance of winning.

the plan

I made this blog over a year ago, and about five minutes after creating it I was like "Nope, never mind, I don't want to post my crappy poetry here" and promptly forgot about it. Now I'm trying to get back into blogging, and I wanted to tidy up my profile and delete blogs I never write in or revisit-this one being the most obvious-but I can't seem to find any option for deleting blogs in my account settings. So I guess I'll actually start posting poetry here rather than having a random blank blog. I don't actually have anything new right now, but if you weren't in my poetry class my junior year of college or read the stuff I put on Deviantart it'll be new to you! I think what I'll do is go over my existing poems, edit them, and post them here.