My Shadow

The three of us stand in the cafe parking lot-
My shadow, him, and me.
He hugs me goodbye and says we'll hang out again next time I'm around,
And I force a smile and pray that my chubby cheeks aren't flaring red.

She's tall and thin, with sharp, defined features.
She silently glides behind me in the setting sun
And watches over my shoulder as he walks to his car.
He drives away, and she hisses into my ear:

"God, you coward. Look at what you could've had!
If I had skin, bones, and muscles I'd smack you upside the head.
You were lucky a man like that gave you the time of day
And you didn't do fucking thing. You didn't make a single move.

Now he's with that bitch. Oh, don't defend her.
You know she probably is. Not that it matters.
I'm sure she's absolutely beautiful- a goddess-
So I suppose you wouldn't have stood a chance anyway.

Don't give me that 'it's what's on the inside that counts' shit.
Do you think what's-her-name won first prize by being nice?
Hell, no. It was ten feet of legs and virtually no stomach.
I don't think, ah, 'curvy' girls like you even belong in the running.

Even if personality did matter, do you really think he would have chosen you?
Jesus, I'm two dimensional and I'm still more substantial than you are!
You hide. You're silent. You belong in the darkness more than I do."
I'm relieved when the light disappears and she slinks into the crowd of new arrivals.

I can still feel her impatient, disgusted gaze, though,
Reminding me of what I should but never will be.
Her dark grey friends surround me, close in,
Trapping me with my unfortunate truth.